advice, thoughts, university

Why don’t I have a mortgage…

Okay, so this is post is not actually about mortgages. If you came here for a comprehensive discussion about handling your finances then this is probably not what you’re looking for. However, please keep reading anyway because I think this is an important topic. I am constantly being inspired by what people around me say and do which has become the basis for most of my posts so far. If you see me slyly whip out my phone mid conversation – I am most likely jotting down something you have just said.

I try to always write down thoughts I have in the moment…

With this is mind, this post is somewhat a ‘response’ to a conversation I recently had. This person is currently doing her masters therefore, many of her friends have already finished their degrees, have started working full-time or have their own houses. She was talking about how everyone around her has started living in the ‘real world’ whilst she is still in the university bubble. The conversation ended with her exclaiming:

Why don’t I have a mortgage!

Whilst this as an isolated statement may seem strange, it is actually understandable when looking at the situation holistically. As I wrote in my ‘so you had a bad day’ post, I believe we has humans work comparatively therefore before deciding how we feel about a situation we compare it to something else. This comparison might be with the past, other people or the perception of how we feel our lives should be. It really is the classic “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” scenario.

If you ask anyone with a mortgage, I’m sure many would rather not have that responsibility and I know for certain a lot of people would kill for the chance to be on a masters programme so that leaves the question:

Why can we never appreciate what we have?

This is a question I’ve been battling with for a very long time. We live in a world where we have so much choice. I definitely have so much more choice than my grandparents and even my parents did. This is so great but with choice comes complexity. I feel that this in leading to an inability to live in the moment and thus not appreciate what we have. We spend so long thinking we are entitled to the world that we fail to really live in it.

I have not even lived up to a quarter of my life yet but already the choices I am making are creating the path for the rest of my life. Whilst I am opening all these doors for myself, inevitably a lot of other doors are simultaneously being closed. The door for me becoming a Scientist for example, has been closed for a long time. When I chose my GCSE’s, A Levels and then Degree, I moved further and further away from that path. Then the decisions I make everyday add another lock to that door, which makes it harder although not impossible for me to get back on to that path. That is just the opportunity cost of living the life I chose.

baby dammy
Aged 5 and ready to take on the world…

The point is, we are all on a path whether we realise it or not and we have to face the outcomes of that whether good or bad.  Coveting what others have will not benefit you. I will most likely not be a scientist (never say never, eh?) however, there is a whole long list of other amazing things I can do and be.

Should have, would have, could have…didn’t.

This is something I often say to family and friends when they complain about things they cannot change. Whilst I realise this may come across as unsympathetic or even annoying, it really is just the stark reality of life.  So rather that focusing on what we did not do, what we do not have and all those missed opportunities, would it not be so much better to spend that time thinking of and celebrating what we did do?

I have just quickly put together a list of all the things in my life I can be thankful for and I am going try to really celebrate those. Maybe some of you can try it too? You might just surprise yourself.

It’s just me, Dammy, and the grass looks great over here.



2 thoughts on “Why don’t I have a mortgage…”

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